


Patronus: Monkey On A Straw

by ready_to_kick_some_ass



Series: Season 6 Fics [2]
Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: F/M, Fluff and Angst, Light Angst, s06e03, s06e03 fear and loathing on the planet kitson
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-29
Updated: 2019-05-29
Packaged: 2020-03-29 10:51:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,181
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19018411
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ready_to_kick_some_ass/pseuds/ready_to_kick_some_ass
Summary: Jemma talks to Monkey-Fitz. (Spoilers for Season 6 Episode 3: Fear and Loathing on the planet Kitson)





	Patronus: Monkey On A Straw

Jemma is dizzy.

The room is spinning around her. Or is she the one who’s moving?  

Maybe … Maybe she is a boat on an ocean – Oh no. Not an ocean … No. A,  a _lake_. Yes. She’s a little boat on a lake, swaying in the wind. Feeling slightly nauseous, like that one time she’s been on a big ship with her parents. She didn’t like that. Too much water. It was everywhere. It was an endless dark blue blanket and she didn’t know what was laying beneath it. It made her anxious.

She’s anxious now too. Everything’s too much. The lights are too bright, burning her eyes. Yellow, green and pink. It’s such a strange overwhelming combination. Every little noise around her, every laugh and every word echo in her head multiple times, until it all mingles with each other. It’s a loud confusing mess of bits and pieces.

She blinks into the blood-red fluid of the cocktail in front of her. It reflects her face multiple times and she has the feeling, every version of herself is carrying a horribly accusing expression. Yeah, well. They are right. She really should have known better than eating alien food without even thinking about it … God, she is a total mess. Has been one for a whole year now.

Jemma sighs and rubs her itching eyes. She looks at Daisy beside her, who’s swaying too. Her eyes are glassy, and her cheeks flushed in a soft raspberry red. She supports her face on her hands and grins at Jemma. “What house are you in, hm? Gryffindor?”

Gryffindor. Harry Potter. Jemma likes Harry Potter. She’s read the books a dozen time. Or two dozen? She also watched the movies with … with Fitz. Something inside her starts to ache. Fitz. She looks around, blinking as the colours and people – no, _aliens_ – in the room fade into one big blurry mosaic of moving lights and shadows and strange sounds. Where is he? Where is Fitz. He would have known the answer for sure. Because they took a lot of Sorting Hat Quizzes on the internet together, while sitting on the bed in Fitz's flat, giggling and slapping each other with pillows. They had a lot of fun back then.

But Fitz's not here now, so she has to tell Daisy herself. Of course, she is a “Uh, Ravenclaw. Girl _please_.”

Daisy laughs. “Do you know a, a spell?”

Spells. Oh. Oh, she knows a great spell. Fitz and she have talked about what their Patri – Patru – _Patronus_ would be. Of course, Fitz wanted a monkey. But Jemma’s preferences have changed from time to time. She loves a lot of animals. Whales and ravens, meerkats and snow hares … She swings the straw from the alien cocktail in front of her and dramatically calls, “Expecto Patronum!”

She doesn’t expect anything to happen - after all she’s not a real witch, not like Hermione (right???) - but it does. When she looks at the straw, there’s a little figure standing on it; brown fur, a long tail, little round ears … A monkey? It turns and Jemma gasps when she sees the face. It’s … Oh. It’s a Monkey-Fitz. Or is it a Fitz-Monkey?

“Hello, little Monkey-Fitz!” Jemma calls and giggles. Her heart fills with a sudden wonderfully warm spark of joy.

Monkey-Fitz looks at her and gives her an adorable half-smile. His blue eyes sparkle.

Fitz. _Fitz_ is her Patronus?

 _Fitz_ …

That place deep inside Jemma starts to ache again. Memories try to get to the surface or her confused mind. Memories that aren’t bright, colourful or funny at all. There’s a familiar sadness lying underneath her current smile and she doesn’t want it.

Daisy’s dangling foot suddenly hits hers and Jemma flinches, almost dropping the straw. Monkey-Fitz makes a startled noise and his arms are flailing wildly as he tries to keep his balance on the thin line. Jemma hurries to hold the straw straight, so he won’t fall. She watches as Monkey-Fitz sits down carefully, his feet dangling. He looks at her and smiles again.

He's so far away ...

“I miss you,” Jemma breathes as a sudden wave of longing rushes through her. Her eyes well up. “I miss you so much …”

Monkey-Fitz doesn’t talk, but his smile falters a bit. He tilts his head and his eyes fill with a hint of … sadness? She doesn’t want him to be sad. She misses his happy smiles. And she doesn’t want to be sad either. It’s so exhausting. Why do they have to be sad all the time …

„Did you go to live with the monkeys? Will you come back soon?” Jemma asks hopefully. Fitz always said he would like to live with wild monkeys to learn more about them. Like Jane Goodall did. But why did he have to go now? Did he inform himself what kind of dangerous and poisonous animals live in the jungle? And did he even take enough food with him? Did he think of sun blocker and bug spray?

She wants to ask him, but suddenly, Monkey-Fitz gets up carefully, swaying slightly. He gives her a tiny wave and jumps off the straw.

“No,” Jemma whispers, the tear running down her nose. “No. No, stay. Please stay.” She looks around on the counter and the floor frantically. Her heart jumps when she sees a monkey tail, disappearing under a gaming table and she quickly gets up, trying not to tumble over as the world spins around her. She forgets about Daisy and crawls under the gaming table.

She has to find Fitz.

***

  
A year later, on a Sunday in summer, when she’s a bit drunk after a night out with Daisy and Elena, she comes home to find Fitz sitting on the couch with a beer and a bowl of popcorn, watching some kind of monkey docu instead of soccer and when she sees a little brown monkey sitting on a thin branch, she suddenly remembers Monkey-Fitz.  

She stumbles into Fitz’s arms, remembering the blurry rest of the “Ladies’ night”, and starts to laugh. She can’t stop and her belly starts to hurt. She holds it and presses her face against Fitz’s chest, wheezing and tearing up.

“Jemma, are you alright?” Fitz asks, sounding half amused half worried.

“You … you were my Patronus,” Jemma tells him breathlessly, tapping a finger against Fitz’s nose.

“What?”

“You … my Patronus. I swung the straw because, be – because Daisy wanted to see a spell. And I used Expecto Patronus and then _you_ were there, you were a little monkey and you were sitting on my straw …”

Fitz blinks. “Ooookay. Okay. I think you need your bed, Jems.”

“Nooo. No bed. I’m going to turn you from a, a monkey, into a pillow!” Jemma swings an imaginary wand and giggles. She yawns and drops her head on Fitz’s belly, closing her eyes. He runs a hand through her hair, and she sighs, falling asleep while the warmest and softest pillow she knows, rises up and down in a pleasant slow and steady rhythm.

_I’m so glad we found each other …_

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not a native speaker and always grateful for being corrected! I'm constantly trying to improve my English, so please don't hesitate to tell me about mistakes. <3
> 
> Visit me on tumblr: [ready-to-kick-some-ass](https://ready-to-kick-some-ass.tumblr.com/) :)


End file.
